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I'd slept better than I could remember doing in a long time now."Good morning, Sally," I said brightly as I stepped out into the clear morning light. "By now I'd say I know all of your secrets," I commented, slipping her owner's manual and other papers back into the otherwise empty glove box. After moment's reflection I added, "But I'll bet, in truth, that I don't know any of them at all yet."The danger in talking to an apparently dumb animal, an apparently non-responsive plant, or an apparently inanimate piece of machinery, is highly overrated. At least as long as you're not too directly overheard by someone who can control your fate.I view it like this:Either it means nothing at all, no one is actually listening, in which case nothing has actually happened. No harm, no foul.Or, if someone, somewhere, somehow is actually hearing you, well you're just being considerate, which can hardly be counted against you. Win-win.I certainly don't know everything that's happening or not. "She's lovely isn't she?" mum whispered as she took my empty plate away and giggled when I replied."Gorgeous mum, but not a patch on you." Flattery will get you everywhere." she laughed and kissed me again."Fancy a barbeque mum?"That was a silly question, but her reaction still made me smile.She jumped up and clapped her hands like a kid."Yes, oh great, come on Jill, let's go to the shop and get some lager while Tommy starts the Barbie."I was still swearing at the bloody thing when they got back with a dozen cans of lager and yet more vodka, giggling and whispering to each other as I prayed to the god of homemade barbeques."You know that denim skirt of mine that you like me wearing?"Mum was beside me, a mischievous smile on her lips."Yes?" Jill's got one just like it," and ran back to her friend at the bottom of the stairs."The mind boggles mum," I shouted and mine certainly did as I watched them wiggling their sexy little bottoms all the way up to the flat.I'd actually succeeded in.
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